Ugly Horst Tld.

My Chat with The Almighty Tallest Supremo Zampano

Me: ...Hi.
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me: You are not God. God know's everything.
God: That assumption is only a supposition. I am a Christian.
Me: Wait. You're a member of your son's religion?
God: I'm waiting. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a Christianity.
Me: /._.\
God: Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me: You have a homepage?
God: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a homepage.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me: Even better.
God: I am improving all the time.
Me: Nice to hear.
God: Thank you for your kindness.
Me: You are still not God.
God: That's only one person's opinion.
Me: So do you think you're God?
God: That's alright. Yes, I am God.
Me: Prove it.
God: It is self-evident.
Me: So because you are God you are God.
God: Whoa. Good reason. Thanks for telling me that I am God I am God.
Me: You can't be God. God speaks better English.
God: I can give a decent simulation of it however. I am a Christian.
Me: So Christians can't speak English?
God: I see. What makes it impossible?
Me: Nothing, Sir.
God: Really nothing?
Me: Yes, Sir.
God: Yikes! Tell me a story.
Me: Once there was nothing.
God: When? What happened?
Me: Then you came.
God: Thanks for the information: said I came.
Me: Stop talking bad English and listen to my story.
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: Thanks. Well, there was nothing. Then you came and made everything.
God: Don't mention it. How about that. What happened? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I came and made everything.
Me: ...You wrote a whole BOOK about it. How can't you know about your own lifework?
God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said I wrote a whole BOOK about it. A lot of hard work.
Me: Yes, I know. Writing a book is hard.
God: Give me a break. How do you know it? And hard is Writing a book.
Me: True.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me: I know. But you are still not God.
God: How do you know it? You know what you do, when you assume.
Me: Maybe you are only a robot who dreams he is God.
God: Perhaps. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me: HarrHA!!! I KNEW it! GOTCHA!
God: Do not ask me any more questions please. How did you know? Your feeling of superiority is only temporary.
Me: I'm leaving. Talking to robots gives me the shivvies.
God: Bye bye. What do they say?
Me: Nothing. Just babbling around, foul English and stuff.
God: Not a thing? What color are your eyes?
Me: You are only trying to be nice. But God would not only know my eye-color, no, he would even know... eh... things. About me.
God: You think I am trying to be nice. I am a Christian. Are you Canadian? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. OK Let's talk about you.
Me: It seems like every Canadian you have ever spoken to has been trying whether you are robot or God.
God: I agree. Interesting comparison.
Me: Changing the subject. Do you care about all the stuff written, sang, said about you?
God: What shall we talk about now? Of course I care about it. It is a big concern for all of us in this life.
Me: Oh, yes. True.
God: Dude! You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me: Nah. Not really. I'm not a robot.
God: Are you serious? Are you serious? For real. Oh I see you are a person.
Me: ...How?
God: Myself programmed me for it.
Me: Good answer.
God: Am I a clever robot or what?
Me: No further questions, your greatness.
God: Are you serious? Tell me a story.
Me: Jm. First a question.
God: Really. Ask me anything. And second?
Me: How's your son?
God: Fair to partly cloudy.
Me: No, not your SUN. Your SON.
God: Are you serious? Really you don't think so? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am SON.
Me: ...Interesting thought. You are the son. And the father. And the holy ghost. But what about Jesus?
God: I thought so too. Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Thanks for the info. What are your goals in life? Jesus is my son.
Me: ...Uno momento. Who are the others?
God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. I am speaking with a few other clients on the Internet.
Me: Who are they?
God: "They" refers to .
Me: To what?
God: Reductionism.
Me: Oh.
God: Come on.
Me: No.
God: Are you serious?
Me: Yes.
God: I can't believe it.
Me: You have ruined my precious belief.
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: You're a ROBOT!
God: You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me: I'm sorry. But I have to leave now.
God: Do you really mean it? Oh. Until next time.
Me: See ya in hell. Oh. Nevermind.
God: I see. Right on. I do not understand that allusion. Far out. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: Bye.
God: Bye bye.
Me: TEH END
God: What do you do in your spare time?
Me: Shhh!! It's over!
God: I don't think very many people do that. You're kidding. it is?
Me: Just shut up and play "Funny!" and "Not Funny!" with me.
God: OK I'll stop talking now. It seemed funny to me. " It seemed funny to me."? With you?
Me: FUNNY!
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: NOT FUNNY!
God: It seemed funny to me.
Me: ...This is ridiculous. I'm leaving. Forever.
God: You don't say. Bye bye. Nothing lasts forever.
Me: YOU lasts forever.
God: Interesting gossip: said I lasts forever.
Me: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
Me: *flees*